To (Not) Catch A Thief
This short article about Edward Skyler, Deputy Mayor of New York, mentions four times (headline, led, body, final quote) that he tackled a mugger. I have a similar story. Had I known it was so interesting . . .
I was in Paris — same trip that inspired the Shangri-La Diet. It had been raining, the streets were wet. I heard a shout: Stop that man! A man came running toward me. I tried to stop him but I slipped on the cobblestones and fell in front of him. Perfect tackle. Lying on the ground, he asked: Why did you do that? Nobody came. He got up and ran off.
As I walked away a woman came up to me. “Are you okay?’ she asked. A man said to me,”That was unusual what you did.” I felt really good for an hour or so.
I was stunned how good I felt. I had accomplished nothing — the thief wasn’t caught. Nor was there any obvious reason I should care what two bystanders thought of me.
The lesson I drew was this. Praise alone won’t make you happy. Accomplishment alone won’t make you happy. But their combination — praise for a genuine accomplishment, however small –is enormously potent. If I’m right, a teacher has enormous power to help his students by praising them for what they do right.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
The corollary is true in both cases. Blame, ridicule, and judgment , even from strangers, can cause great suffering and teachers have enormous power to harm by criticizing them for what they do wrong.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Yeah, David, I agree. I originally wrote a longer version of the post where I said just that.
April 15th, 2009 at 8:20 am
All the happiness research suggests that doing something that helps others causes happiness long after the activity; whereas doing something that gives you pleasure has a quick drop-off — the pleasure tends to end with the activity.
I once had a wonderful, religious person, Huston Smith, say to me, “God bless you for that,” with great earnestness. Even though I am not religious, I was amazed at how good it made me feel. I think the feeling of well being that comes from praise from a religious figure must be powerful. Or in Catholicism, taking communion, which can only be done with a “cleansed soul” after confession, must be amazing…